Eddsworld: Tord's Journey
by silverVOID
Summary: After Tord left Eddsworld, he's had to try and fill his own ambitions, live his own dreams. But the horrors of life are catching up to him, and stakes are high. Join him as he adventures deeper into the world of crazy. Rated T for violence and profanity.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

Tord stood outside his car, watching the other's expressions. He knew that Edd was obviously upset and pretty hurt about him leaving the show. He couldn't really tell Matt's thoughts, speaking that his face was hidden behind a mirror as the vain ginger-head marveled at his oh-so beautiful face. Tom's expression was pretty obvious; he had a content smirk on his face, as he and Tord never really got along.

"Good bye," Edd murmured as Tord walked to his car.

"Good luck," Matt called, taking his eyes off the mirror for once as Tord got into the car,

"Good riddance," Tom muttered. Tord made sure to back up his car to purposely hit Tom, and, without looking back. drove away, out of Eddsworld and into Reality.

He turned up the rock music already blaring through his windows. Checking to make sure there were no cops, and then deciding that he didn't care if here even WAS any, he stepped on the gas and drove a good 110 mph. Screw anyone who saw. _This is my car, my world, my life,_ he thought.

Suddenly the sound of sirens filled the air. "Well, that's stupid," he said to himself. Instead of pulling over for the police like a rational person, he sped up and accidently drove off the fucking highway. Smooth move, Tord. He screamed as the car flipped down the steep hill. The windshield was broken and was stabbing into his chest. Broken glass sliced his face. The car tumbled and landed on it's trunk. It somehow spun around wildly, and crashed into a tree.

Tord flung through the hole in the windshield and crashed face first into the tree. He slid down and landed on the remains of his car with a dull thud. The last thing he saw before his vision darkened was the shattered glass and blood.

* * *

Meanwhile, the cop was still trying to drive after the red car, unaware that the red car was, in fact, broken to bits at the bottom of a ravine. He finally had the sense to investigate the mysterious blood colored liquid on the road, mixed with the sheen of spilled oil. He pulled to a stop and went over. The sight almost made him want to barf up the donuts he just inhaled.

A teenager in a red hoodie, with spiky pale brown hair, was slumped against a tree, unconscious. His face was covered with blood and his clothes were torn and splattered with oil. A few feet away was the red car, crushed to bits and also covered in oil. The license plate had fallen off, and was laying on the ground, while pieces of metal and glass were scattered everywhere. He finally was able to tear his eyes away and call 911.

"Hello, this is 911, please state your emergency."

"Uh, hello Jane. This is Bob, you know, the cop? Yeah, uh, there's been a crash at highway number 75, and a teenager is there, and he looks like he's dead- should I find a hospital?" he asked.

"What do you think?" The voice was sarcastic.

"Uh, no," Bob said stupidly. There was an exasperated sigh from the other end of the line. Jane glared at the phone and hung up.

Bob took one last look at the teen, and vomited.

* * *

A couple hours later a dark blue car drove over to the same spot. The man inside the car stepped out and walked down the hill, following the trail of blood and oil. He saw the blood-covered teenager, the crushed car, the broken glass. He quietly called an ambulance and watched as it drove over. One of the drivers vomited, the other stonily picked up the teen and carried him into the ambulance. The man silently got into his car and drove away, the ambulance following. The moon's glow shone onto a small note met to be given to Edd Gould:

I'M SORRY.

**A/N: Why the fuck am I doing this.**

**I don't know.**

**Well, I have a shitload of Invader Zim fictions to be finishing right now, especially Twisted Galaxies. But I do kinda enjoy this. But still, which is better? Ship crashes or car crashes? Ghosts or cops? Tacos or donuts? Saving the universe or the adventure of a lifetime?**

**Your choice.**

**Uh, please note that this probably won't be updated regularly, but I'll try my best. You can find me on deviantART, username's silverVOID1, and please please PLEASE review.**

**I mean, hey. It's pretty swell.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

He woke up with a pain in his head and bandages on his face.

_Hey, that should be a song title,_ he thought as he struggled to rip the bandages off.

"Hey! Don't touch those! You need them to heal, 'kay?" Tord managed to get one bandage off his eyes, and managed to see the world's most sexy nurse EVER. She had one of those really short white nurse shirts, gorgeous locks of blonde hair, eyes the color of blue cotton candy, and- _shit_, look at those legs! She glanced at him, concerned, unaware that she was giving him a perfect view of what lay down her shirt.

"Are you okay, hun? Anything hurt?" she asked in a southern accent.

"N-no, it's fine," Tord stuttered. _Dear shit, this is better than those hentai magazines-_ He broke off suddenly. _Shit! They were in my trunk- wait! My car! How will get home?! How will I escape?_

"You sure you're okay, hun?" the nurse asked. Tord turned his head slightly and saw her name was Bethany, which was written on her nametag in fancy handwriting.

"Yep," he said finally, shaking himself out of his thoughts.

"Okay then," she replied. "I'll go and get you somethin' to eat. And don't mess with those bandages!" She smiles sexily, showing off her perfect, pearly white teeth, and walked out the door.

The normal Tord would be wondering how to fit her into a hentai comic of sorts, but this time he was scared. _How am I gonna get home?!_ he thought again. He struggled desperately to unwrap himself from the covers, but a wave of pain in his arm stopped him. He looked down and realized, with astonishment, he had a cast... on both arms.

Tord moaned in distress._ How do you live with two broken arms?!_

It was obvious that this was not going to end well...

* * *

Three more days had passed, and Tord was pissed. He'd been trying to sneak out in a variety of ways; each one subtly ignored by Bethany but eventually uncovered by a nurse or doctor that just so happened to be walking by. Not to mention that those stupid casts wouldn't help with anything. They were large and cumbersome and clumsy, and they were no help whatsoever in trying to run away.

"How does someone break out of a hospital room anyways?" he muttered to himself. Suddenly he had an idea. Waiting until nighttime, when there were no one there, as they were convinced he had fallen asleep, he slowly crept out of the bed. Painfully rummaging the doors for SOME type of tool to rip of the casts he finally settled on an electric blade that looked reasonable enough to cut it off. Tord braced himself and turned it on. The circular blade spun and dug into the cast; to his delight, it fell off immediately. He smiled and set forth on the other cast.

When he was finished with the casts, Tord grabbed a couple sharp-bladed tools for defense, picked the lock, and head out. He was immediately greet with a burst of light, and he shielded himself in a panic to save his eyesight. He continued to wander down the hall. Everything was an eerie white, and the lights seemed too bright to be actual bulbs. He almost jumped straight out of his hoodie when he thought he heard the noise of a lone footstep. Hiding behind the corner for a few more seconds, poking his head out, and finding nothing, he shrugged and kept walking.

"Tord..." A high pitched voice stopped him in his tracks. "Tord... the voice said again.

"Great. Now I'm hearing voices," he muttered.

"Go back..." The voice was formidable. "Go back..."

_Alright, this is getting annoying,_ Tord thought irritatedly. He spun around and tossed a knife at the direction where the voice was coming from. There was a high shriek and blood splattered on the ground... but there was nothing there. He picked of the knife, and examined it.

"A gun would be better," he said aloud. "but it'll do."

"Stop!"

Tord spun around. "Who's there?!."

"You aren't going anywhere," Bethany said evilly. His jaw dropped. Her eyes were glowing red, and all around her were the doctors and nurses, armed and ready to kill.

**A/N: Ah, Social Studies class. I'm supposed to be learning about the Greeks but is typing this story as well... ah well. YES, Bethany is a HUGE ASS sue, but that's what I wanted her to be... don't worry, your misery shall end soon...**

**Maybe.**

**HEEHEE.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"You look totally sexy with a gun," were the first words that came out of Tord's mouth. He shut it immediately and mentally face palmed. _Seriously, me?! Who says that to a crazed nurse?!_ he thought.

She rose an eyebrow. "Uh... okay?"

"And- I, uh- please don't shoot me," he pleaded. "Or at least give me the gun. I prefer them to knifes," he said quietly, motioning to the knife in his hand. "Wait- uh... just a minute... that sounded stupid." He walked back where he came, and then leapt out again. "Don't shoot! I have knife, but I'd rather have a gun!" he said, waving the knife wildly.

"What happened to your casts?" the demonic-looking but still utterly sex-appealing nurse asked.

"Oh, I- I cut them off... with this knife... but I like guns better. I'm kinda trigger happy," Tord said. "It said so in my wiki."

"Unfair! You have a wiki?"

"Yeah, I'm- er... was one of the main characters of Eddsworld."

"Ah." Bethany nodded understandably.

"Uh... anyways... um... dude what are you anyways?" he asked suddenly.

"Oh god, the disguise isn't off all the way-" A cloud of sparkly magic sparkle appeared, and there was a demon standing in front of him. Well, flying. She had dark auburn hair, black and red eyes, a devil tail and a black and red outfit.

"Oh- that's much better," Tord said. "Now I can see that you are- uh... the Anti-Christ or something."

"Yup," She smiled. "My dad's Satan, and I live in Hell, and all."

"Ah... so do you have any weaknesses?" he asked her.

"Well, there's Holy Water, bibles, salt, iron, Devil's traps, Holy fire..." she counted them off on her fingers, and then looked up. "Wait why am I telling you this?!"

"Because your a nice person," Tord said as he hugged her.

"What the hell?!" She struggled to get him off. While she was busy, he grabbed a small pocket bible he got from Ebay one day that just so happened to be in his pocket at the time, and pressed it firmly on her neck. She shrieked in pain and terror and clawed at him angrily, reopening one of his wounds from the crash. He dodged another one of her blows, and ran to the back wall. He turned around in time to see her slowly disappear. The army of doctors and nurses fell onto the ground, unconscious.

Panting, Tord surveyed the scene, grabbed the gun from the ground, and ran down the hall.

"Just my luck I run into the frikking Anti-Christ when I'm trying to escape a hospital." he muttered, Making sure there was no stray doctor around, he leapt down the stairs, crashed through the doors, and went outside the hospital for the first time in a week.

The sight of the outdoors... it almost burned his eyes out. The street lights glowed brighter than any sun, the streets as black as midnight. Row after row of cars stood menacingly on the parking lot. He grinned widely and rushed over to a red car that looked similar to his before the crash. Tord pressed his face against the window and noticed with delight that the key's were right on the seat. _Some idiot must've left it there,_ he thought, shooting the window. He grabbed the key and shoved it into the keyhole before the alarm could get any louder. He admired the car for a few more seconds, and stepped on the gas, completely forgetting what happened last time he drove 110 mph. But he didn't care. The past was behind him now.

**A/N: And... bye bye, Beth! She MIGHT actually be an imporant character later, though... But anyways, before you say ANYTHING, Tord is NOT in love with her! There is a difference between sexual desire and true love, and for this case, it's the former. Uh... please please with cheese review, follow, favorite, do whatever, I'd prefer reviews though. Check out my deviantART, give a review, keep on reading, and good day!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

He awoke from his small daydream of nurses and tentacle monsters to the sound of wailing sirens. He peered into the little mirror thing and saw, to his shock, no less than 57 thousand hundred thousand ambulances. Yeah, I don't know anymore.

"Oh god no," he breathed. He turned back around and stepped on the gas, but they were gaining on him. He scanned the car for some type of control, and his eyes landed on the Z-Gear next to the keyhole thing.

"How did I not see that?" he murmured as he switched the controls and immediately flew into the air, safely above the ambulances chasing him. He grinned, watching the now match-box car sized cars stop in bewilderment. _They're so tiny,_ he thought. _It's like they're ants, and I'm a giant._ He smiled at the thought and continued to fly to his house in Norway.

Until he realized a rather troubling fact.

"Wait, how does a car fly in the first place?!" he exclaimed. And that's what cost him. The car stopped immediately, and then free-fell into the middle of the ocean.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIT!" Tord screeched as the car plummeted. The pressure was building on him, and it took all his willpower not to lose his lunch. Like some type of miraculous miracle, a plane flew right under him at that moment, stopping his fall. He let out a huge breath he didn't know he was holding.

"We appear to be experiencing some minor turbulence..." and what happened afterwards was frankly what happened in Zanta Claws II.

Six planes and a long walk out of the airport later, Tord walked back into his car again, shaking. _Honestly, that had to be the most terrifyingly- COMPLETELY AWESOME CAR RIDE EVER!_ he thought jubilantly while sucking on some sort of extremely sugary drink. He hopped in and sped away from the airport, driving down the achingly familiar roads of Norway.

* * *

It was five o'clock when a single bullet flew through his window and almost hit him in the face.

Tord turned his head in alarm and saw, in a dark alleyway, two figures holding guns and yelling curse words at each other. He parked the car and went over to investigate.

"Ladies, ladies, you're both beautiful," Tord said. "What seems to be the problem?"

The two people glared at him, and he realized that they were much bigger than he thought. They were both at least six feet tall, covered head to toe in war-like tattoos. Their muscles burst through the thin shirts, and their eyes were cold as ice, gazing down at him with fury.

"What did you just call us?!" the first guy grunted, picking up Tord by his hood.

"I- uh, I- I was joking, I just- um, hey what were you two fighting about, anyways?" he said nervously, abruptly changing the subject in fear of getting pounded. His arms were still weak from the crash and earlier lack of use, and staring into the furious face of the men he realized it would be tougher than he thought to get out of this mess.

"We stole a sum of money from a rich person yesterday, and we don't know who should get it," the first guy explained. He glared. "Now _what_ did you call us?!"

"I think we called us ladies," the second man grunted. The first guy's eyes widened.

"N-No I didn't! I- Hey, look over there!" Tord pointed to a random yet fascinating piece of air hovering in... air. The two men turned around to look, giving him enough time to slip out of the grasp of the dumbass and run back to his car. Running toward it he spotted a large sack filled with what appeared to be the money, and he snatched it and dove into the car seat. Hearing their exclamations of discouragement he slammed on the gas pedal and sped away before they could break his neck.

Tord gazed at the bag of money and laughed hysterically. "Wha-what the fuck did I just do?!" he said to himself. "I'm- oh god, I'm so gonna be dead if they find me..." He grinned some more. "Oh well." He shrugged. "As I've been saying for the last couple of chapters for absolutely no reason whatsoever, this is my life, I can do what I want." Tord blinked and then said to himself, "Why the hell do I keep doing that?" He shrugged and continued on his way.

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR NO UPDATING THIS... LIKE, REALLY, REALLY SORRY. You see, I was planning on ending Twisted Galaxies last week, so Ifigured I'd catch up on that. But now that that's practically done, time to work on the next best thing, neh? Shout-out to lpsfan100 and as always, NicoleTheAwesome, lps for favoriting and following and Nicole for critiquing me at school and just being a dumbass. Love y'all ;). Next chapter MIGHT be coming next week or something.**

**GOODBYE.**


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